


a weight on my shoulders

by aaxbbxx



Series: Written in The Stars • ASTRO oneshots [46]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: M/M, everybody loves rocky, protect rocky at all costs, sanha loves rocky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-10 02:25:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19489606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaxbbxx/pseuds/aaxbbxx
Summary: Rocky was never really good with words, he knew that, the members knew that, everyone knew that. So he expressed himself in dance, and if he needed to say something, it took him a long time to get it out of his system because he wants to use the right words. But the downside of things, was because of his inability to put his thoughts into words, he'd often just be seen as introverted and be quiet in most shows, even their ASTRO DDOCA, PLAY and whatever else, even his vlives were mostly boring. It was safe to say, it might be that one factor he seemed to be lacking and it might be that factor that hinders him from getting schedules.





	a weight on my shoulders

Rocky woke to pitter patter of feet and voices speaking in different ranges outside the bedroom. He blinked numerous times to chase away drowsiness and looked around the room, noting the empty beds. He yawned before pushing himself up, and blinked again, his eyes not quite cooperating. He squinted at the clock on the wall, humming when it read that it was almost two in the afternoon. Though he shouldn't be that surprised at the late hour, he woke up early in the morning for his piano lesson and came back around ten, and promptly fell asleep.

Rocky slipped his feet in his house slippers, smiling softly at the cute bunny ears it possessed ("Hyuk, we _all_ need cute animal slippers!" Sanha had pouted when he and Bin refused, and as usual they were weak for the maknae as they eventually resigned themselves to it). He opened the bedroom door, just in time to hear the front door close, and padded across towards the kitchen where his boyfriend had stood with his back to him. He quietly approached the taller boy, and slipped his arms around, burying his head into the younger's shoulder blades.

"Hey baby," came the soft greeting, and Rocky couldn't help but make some sort of happy noise at the back of his throat. Most of the time, pet names were for Sanha and the first time the younger had used one for him, he felt something flutter in his stomach, and ever since then, he didn't argue at being called such cute things.

"Hi," Rocky mumbled and Sanha turned and leaned against the kitchen counter, with Rocky whining at being dislodged from his position but made a content sound when the younger pulled him back into his chest.

"Sorry, I didn't wake you. You looked tired so I left you to sleep." Sanha carded his hands into Rocky's unkempt hair, untangling the knots. "Jinwoo-hyung ordered some food for lunch earlier, the leftovers are in the fridge if you want some. He and M-hyung just left."

Rocky only hummed and nodded, nosing at the exposed neck of the younger, scenting that sweet sweet smell of just _Sanha_. Sanha tugged at his hair lightly, making him look up in question.

Sanha smiled fondly, before leaning down to press a sweet kiss on Rocky's lips. The rapper leaning up and chasing after his taste, groaning when the younger pulled away all too soon.

"I have to leave soon." Rocky pouted at that, he wants to spend more time with him. What could be so important that he had to leave? "I have Idol Radio recording."

_Oh._ Rocky felt guilty all of a sudden. Here he was complaining, and Sanha had a job to do.

"Right, I forgot about that." Rocky pulled away, and went to one of the cupboards, distracting himself.

Sanha watched with concern at the swift mood change, as Rocky opened up one of the cupboards he knew they store extra cutlery and plates. "Uhm, you looking for anything?"

"Coffee."

"You know it's not there right?" Sanha opened the cupboard next to him. "It's here."

Rocky snapped his head to Sanha with a blush. "Ah, right. I knew...I just uh, I'm still waking up."

Sanha nodded slowly, frowning. "Hyuk..."

Rocky gave him a wide smile, a smile that was very much fake in Sanha's opinion. "Don't worry, I'm just still sleepy. Why don't you go and get ready to leave? I'm sure Manager-nim will be here soon–"

Just as he said, there was a knock on the door, followed by a key in the slot and the door opening. "Sanha! Let's go!"

Rocky pointed to the front door, and shrugged. "See? Go! Before you're late."

Sanha continued to frown, a pout on his lips, and before he could speak, Rocky leant up and place a peck on his lips.

"Hurry before you're late." Then he pushed Sanha out the kitchen, giving him his backpack and lead him out the front door. When the younger pouted harder, he pushed him out the door with a quick yell of 'fighting' then closed the door, leaning against it with a sigh.

Rocky looked around their home, the silence of their dorm, and he felt the weight on his shoulders getting heavier.

Rocky was never really good with words, he knew that, the members knew that, everyone knew that. So he expressed himself in dance, and if he needed to say something, it took him a long time to get it out of his system because he wants to use the right words. But the downside of things, was because of his inability to put his thoughts into words, he'd often just be seen as introverted and be quiet in most shows, even their ASTRO DDOCA, PLAY and whatever else, even his vlives were mostly boring. It was safe to say, it might be that one factor he seemed to be lacking and it might be that factor that hinders him from getting schedules.

Rocky wasn't complaining really. He loved that he's busy with composing and writing lyrics, attending his piano lessons, and choreographing dances, but sometimes he felt that all he did was never enough compared to the amount of publicity and work the other members had to do. He felt like his amount of work can never amount to the others. He felt guilty all the time when he sees them all so tired from their schedules, so little time to rest, and there he was sleeping most of the day away. But sometimes he felt like that's all he could do, so he could avoid seeing their stressed gazes, tired looks, to lessen the guilt building up in himself.

Rocky remembered during their concert in Seoul, how he told Arohas how embarrassed he was, how sometimes he'd rather not post on their social medias because what content can he offer? Although he knew their fans would probably just be happy with a selfie or a song recommendation, but his pride sunk low every time because he was just too ashamed at old photos with basically nothing new to offer.

Don't get him wrong, he loved that other members had schedules, had their own shows, had their own guesting, he was proud of them. But sometimes he envied them, he wants to contribute to their team as well, but somehow he always ended up with the least amount of work and he feels like a burden to them, he feels like he's taking advantage, feels like he shouldn't be so relaxed when the others are always tired.

Rocky tried his best at making content, hence why he went on a cooking vlive just a week ago, and he was happy that their fans liked it. Because that was all he could do. He was awkward and sometimes he doesn't know what to do in front of the camera, but he tried his best, because it was the very least he could do.

Sometimes Rocky would spend his day, even throughout the night, in their practice room. He'd be dancing his frustration, worries, sadness, and everything else out. When he pushed himself hard enough, he'd fall on his back and lay down on the floor, breathing harshly, body sore from the amount of work he placed himself in. It seemed like it was nothing, but it was a way to punish himself, and although he tried to ignore that word, he knew what he was doing to himself. Sanha knew that too.

That was why when everyone was home one night, and a rare day off the next day, the rest of the members were confused as to where Rocky was. When they texted him in their Kakao group chat, all the dancer responded was 'go ahead, I'll be home late' and didn't reply to the prodding questions the others sent after. Jinwoo and MJ were the epitome of worried parents, while Eunwoo and Bin looked confused and concerned. They all knew Rocky had been feeling, knew of his revelation during their concert, and they all tried their best not to worry and make Rocky burden himself with their work and lack of his. They all felt guilty when they hadn't realized the younger felt that way, and tried their hardest to make sure Rocky won't feel that way again. But apparently they failed just a couple months in.

"I know where he is." Sanha had muttered, before reassuring his hyungs he'd be fine going alone. "Besides, I don't think he'd want all of you bombarding him at once."

The other members protested but ultimately let Sanha go alone, and that's where he was at the present.

Sanha stared at the way Rocky laid on the ground eyes closed, breathing rapid, face flushed with exhaustion, and he felt his heart squeeze painfully. If only he could wrap him up and protect him forever.

"Hey."

Rocky raised his head in surprise, seeing Sanha enter the room, closing the door gently, turning the music down.

"Sanha, I thought you'd be having dinner with the hyungs by now." Rocky sat up, gave a small smile in thanks when Sanha had approached him with a towel, sitting down across him.

"Well, you weren't there." Sanha shrugged, smiling softly.

"Oh." Rocky wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Well I told you guys to go ahead, I still got some work to–"

"I know what you're doing, Minhyuk." Rocky froze at the stern tone, and he watched as Sanha frowned at him. "And as much as you think you deserve it, you don't. You work just as hard as us. You don't need to feel guilty, embarrassed or anything."

"Sanha–"

"No!" Sanha cut him off, "Honestly, you're composing songs and writing, which is a hard feat. If you think you're not working hard just because our fans can't see you, then you're stupid. I don't know what you're feeling, I can't know of course. But Hyuk, you don't need to burden yourself with these just because you feel like you don't do enough. You do, and more."

Rocky stared at Sanha, the words filling his mind, the younger's face morphing into a small smile, a reassuring one. He never really thought the others caught on, thought he was hiding it better, but apparently not.

"And the other members would agree with me. So stop punishing yourself for something you don't deserve punishing for because there's nothing, _nothing_ , you did or didn't do that deserves it."

Rocky felt tears at the corner of his eyes, and Sanha pulled him into an embrace when he saw this.

"I love you, the members love you. and we are so proud of you. I am very proud of you." Sanha mumbled into Rocky's hair, hand going up and down his back in soothing motions.

"Love you." Rocky mumbled into Sanha's shoulder, hands wrapped tight around the younger for a moment before pulling away.

"When did you get so mature?" Rocky teased, just to lighten the mood, and it worked when Sanha giggled.

"Can we go? There's chicken!" Rocky nodded and allowed Sanha to pull him up.

They took his bag, and just before they exited, Sanha pushed him against the wall and kissed him deeply. They kissed for what felt like forever, but only minutes, before they pulled away and Sanha squealed and ran off.

Rocky shook his head fondly, he hoped the younger never changed.

Rocky casted one last glance of the room, turning the lights off, leaving behind all his worries, and going home to his family.

**Author's Note:**

> Rocky had said in 2nd Astroad to Seoul thay he was worried and burdened because he doesn’t have much schedule like the others and he was embarrased.   
> In his vlive [ he said all he does has been sleeping lately, writing songs/lyrics](https://www.vlive.tv/video/130271)
> 
> Protect Rocky at all costs!!
> 
> on another note, I'm writing a Socky AU, and its inspired by Rocky's signature move! So if you comment and try to guess what kind of AU it is, when I post the story, I'll gift it to you!


End file.
